It's Hard to Date a Noah
by spicynipples
Summary: You could basically call it love at first sight. Crack pairing. Yaoi. Exorcist/Noah. Debitto/Kanda. Intense make-outs.


**Sorry about the lack of updates for my Homestuck fanfiction, but I've been incredibly busy and only just now is FF working for me again. Also :**

**ALL HAIL HOSHINO-SENSEI FOR THE -MAN UPDATE IS COMING UPON US SOON. **

**So now, I shall give you -Man fans this small update that I found the muse for writing whilst sitting in my hotel room many miles from home with my best friend of all time. **

**Pairing: Kanda x Devitto (/Devit, Debitto, David, Debit/) **

**Warnings: Obiously yaoi and possible smut (or very near smut-like) ((Intense make-outs)) **

**~Start~**

Life as an exorcist, a Second Exorcist mind you, is not easy. But then every now and again you get a free day. It just so happens that on his free day, Kanda chooses to get out of the Order and go to a nearby town to meet-up with his boyfriend, Debitto.

Dating Debitto was no easy task:  
1st was the fact that he was a Noah, he had grey skin, so it was hard to take him on dates like normal couples. Doubling that, he was a boy- making it even harder. Also they fact that even though he could change his skin colour, when he gets emotional it changes back within five minutes. Which happened often on their dates when Kanda made a nice comment, or gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
Fact #2 was that the Black Order was always messing it up- they see him before they can meet-up for the date, and then they attack because he is a Noah.  
3rd of all, his troublesome brother, Jasdero, was sometimes with them- and it was nothing but trouble. Although the blond Noah boy was sweet at times, he can be very clumsy at others, and normally blows their cover, and the other two have to seperate and scatter before anyone realizes they're togther.  
The 4th reason is very annoying and rather painful. It is the walk of shame that one of them has to do after every date. To return home _limping_, rather than walking. Sometimes it's Debitto coming home limping, to have Road question him on what happened, or to have Tkyi smirk at him, knowing _exactly_ what happend. Sometimes it's Kanda limping home. But normally he limps to the gate then climbs the wall to get to his room so he doesn't have to get any questions.

It was hard to date a Noah.

They day they hooked up was an amusing one, for it was very unexpected. They hardly knew themselves how it had happened.

_You see, this is how it started: _

"Hey, you there. What's wrong?" Kanda says, grumpily kicking the dark haired boy in the side. The boy stirred slightly, in pain from being kicked. "Who...?" He gasps. "Why are you just lying there? Akuma are everywhere and I don't want to have to save your ass along with all the others shitheads around here." Kanda growls. The boy just looks up at him. "Y-Y-Y-Y-you're an exorcist!" He growls, he tries to kick up at the others face, but Kanda gracefully dodges it. "Little shit, I'm trying to help you." Kanda growls.

"I don't wanna be saved by an exorcist, and it's not like I needed savin' anyway! Besides, if you're trying to save me, you're doing a pretty shitty job of it." He smirks and sits up, his arms in his lap. Kanda glares at the stubborn boy before bending down, slipping his arms under the other boys and hoists him up over his shoulder. The boy kicks out and he hits Kanda's back with his hands.

"Put me down!" He yells, childishly whacking Kanda's back with his fists. "Urgh, shut up- I'm not leaving no man behind, especially a boy like yourself." Kanda says, irritation clear in his tone. The boy stops struggling and stills. "A..boy like myself? What do you mean!?" He says. "I'm sayin' a boy such as yourself should try and get away from Akmua instead of laying in a heap of paper. It doesn't suit a hot boy like you." Kanda replies, giving the boy a smack on the butt, making him squeak in shock.

"H-hot?" He squeaks. Kanda smirks and puts the boy down. "Yeah, I said that didn't I? Anyway- what's your name?" He replies. The boy glares at him, "Tell me yours first. Also, I'm not hot."

"Yuu Kanda, but just call me Kanda, and yes, you are hot so don't you dare say you're not." He says. The boy blushes a little and turns his head away, crossing his arms. "Whatever. It's Debitto, by the way- my name." He says. Kanda nods. "Nice name, _Debitto_." The name rolls off his tongue, making Debitto's spine shiver in pleasure.

"Hey, uh, would you still call me hot if you knew who I was?" Debitto says, a little more quietly. Kanda frowns, "Well yes... I would still call you hot." Debitto nods, and as he does, his skin changes colour into a deep grey tone. Kanda's eyes widen in shock, but he makes no move to attack or run away from the Noah.

"Still find me hot?" Debitto says, as the stigmata slowly appear on his forehead. Kanda quickly gets over his initial shock and regains his composture immediately. "Yeah. I do. If anything, it makes you hotter- grey skin and all." Kanda says. Debitto smiles a little before quickly going back to a smirk. "Is that so? Well, then how about we go on a date?" Debitto says, meaning it as a joke not meant to be taken serious.

"Sure." Kanda says, Debitto's eyes go wide this time. "R-really?" He says. Kanda nods, before leaning in and placing a kiss on Debitto's cheek. A dash of pink appears against the grey skin, making it go an odd colour. "Uh you missed..." Debitto says, reaching out and placing his hands on Kanda's cheeks, leaning up to give him a kiss on the lips. It was only very quick, considering it was after all, Debitto's first kiss.

Kanda smirks and slides his arms around Debitto's waist, pulling him forward and squeezing his ass. "Is that all the kisses I get from the hottest boy in England?" He says, leaning forward again to recapture Debitto's lips in a fiery kiss. Debitto quickly gets the hang of it and pushes back into the kiss and flicks his tongue across Kanda's lip, asking for entrance, Kanda opens his mouth and is surprised to find Debitto dominating him in the kiss. For a boy who has clearly not done this sort of thing before, he sure is a fast learner.

Kanda lets out a small moan, urging Debitto on. One hand snakes it's way across the hem of Debitto's pants, the other slipping in and groping him. Debitto lets out a small squeak and breaks the kiss to gasp for air. Kanda kisses along his jawline and down across his throat, stopping to suck- leaving hickeys all over Debitto's neck.

"You're... nn, good." Debitto gasps through the pleasure that is currently overthrowing him. Kanda smirks as he nips at Debitto's jawline. Debitto grasps Kanda's face and pulls it up to his own, smashing his mouth against the others, tongues entangled instantly. Debitto's hands start to slowly roam over Kanda's chest, feeling the muscles below his exorcist uniform. He slips his hand into Kanda's shirt and it travels up his chest and rubs around, getting a good feel of the other boy.

An explosion nearby made them break apart and remember their surroundings. "I want to say 'I love you' but that would be loving you based on your looks- that's not quite my style. So let's say we get to know each other before wither of us have the right to say 'I love you'." Kanda says. Debitto raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so you do think of the other person. I didn't take you for that type- especially by the way we were just making out right here." He replies.

Kanda shrugs and pushes Debitto's shoulder mockingly. "Shut up- I can be a nice person if I want." He says, grinning. Debitto smirks and lazily wraps his arms around Kanda's neck. "Well take me on a date and I'll tell you everything your want to know about me. Then, I will take you on a date and you tell me anything I want to know about you."

"Fine. Then it's a date. What time are you free?" Kanda says. "Well, I'm free right now so..." He replies. Kanda smirks and leans into kiss Debitto's lips softly. "Well then it's a date now." He says and takes Debitto's hand and togther the two of them went off on their first date.

_That was how it all started._

It was hard to date a Noah.

**End**

**WHELP THERE YOU GO . But yeah, I think I might start shipping this crack pairing because to be honest it's rather hot. ;) **


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